Scenes from REVISED STANDARDS
one-act plays by Lee Shackleford
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Scene from WRESTLES-WITH-GOD
The lights dim for a scene change, then rise to show a stone well with an enormous (polyfoam) rock over the mouth. He is then joined by SHEPHERDS, some of whom are girls wearing false beards.
NARRATOR
"And so did Jacob then continue on his journey into the east. He left out of the blessed land of Canaan, travelled north and east until at last coming to the fields and pastures of Haran. And there he came to a well, the watering-place for many tribes and people, and also for their flocks. He saw there shepherds from other places, and asked of them where they lived."
SHEPHERD
We are of Haran.
JACOB
Haran at last! Do you know, then, of Laban, son of Nahor?
SHEPHERD
We do. His shepherds also come to this very well to water their flocks.
JACOB
Why do you not water your flocks now?
SHEPHERD
We must wait until there are enough of us here to raise this rock, for it is exceedingly heavy.
The SHEPHERDS try to raise the rock; they mime straining -- they cannot lift it.
JACOB
What more can you tell me of Laban, son of Nahor?
SHEPHERD
He has two daughters who are the shepherdesses of his flock.
The SHEPHERD sets his pitcher on one edge of the "heavy" rock, causing the rock to flip up into the air. All quickly replace the rock, as if the audience might somehow fail to notice what has happened.
JACOB
What...what do you know of these two daughters?
SHEPHERD
That you may in part see for yourself, for here comes the younger daughter Rachel even now.
Enter RACHEL carrying a painfully obvious toy sheep.
JACOB
This is she, the daughter of Laban?
SHEPHERD
It is. Rachel, this man asks for your father Laban.
RACHEL
(who has decided she should affect a bogus posh English accent)
And who are you who ask?
JACOB
I am Jacob, son of Isaac and Rebekah, who is sister to your father Laban. I am...your cousin.
RACHEL
I will go to tell my father you are here, but first I must water all of these sheep, the flocks of my father. And yet there are not enough of us here to raise the heavy rock that covers the well.
JACOB
For thy sweet beauty's sake I shall do it alone.
JACOB picks the rock up -- of course the effect has been destroyed by the earlier accident.
The SHEPHERDS dutifully applaud and act amazed nonetheless.
RACHEL
You are a good man and strong, cousin Jacob. I will go at once to my father Laban and say that you are here.
JACOB and RACHEL exit one way, the SHEPHERDS exit the other, dragging the well along with them.
Scene from DANIEL, P.I.
DISTRICT ATTORNEY KING
All right, Mr. Wise Guy. I told you one day you'd go too far, and you just did it.
DANIEL
Is that so?
D.A. KING
Yeah, that's so. The Mayor and all of his people are mine, do you understand? I payed for them and I own them.
And I don't like you telling them they don't have to listen to what I say!
(notices Shadrach)
What are you doing here, Meschach?
SHADRACH
I'm Shadrach.
D.A. KING
Whatever. Now, look at this guy, Daniel. Him and his partners -- their little law film's doing all right after I fixed it for them.
Ain't that right, Shadrach? I mean, after you followed my orders and changed your names, right?
SHADRACH
It has been good for business.
DANIEL
You gotta be kiddin'.
SHADRACH
No, he's right! Everybody remembers Shadrach, Meschach, and Abednego. But who remembered us when we were Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah?
D.A. KING
You hear that, Daniel? It pays to follow my orders.
DANIEL
Come on, King. You wanted me to change my name to Belteshazzar. Sounds like the name of a fancy imported beer.
D.A. KING
Oh yeah? Well, if you don't care what happens to you, maybe you'll care about what happens to your little buddy here
Now you play along with me -- or you'll see this punk and his two friends frying in my incinerator!
DANIEL
Let him go, King!
D.A. KING
Let me know when you're ready to cooperate ... Belteshazzar!
KING exits, dragging SHADRACH after him.
ANGEL
Oh, Daniel, are you sure you're doing the right thing?
Is it worth their lives --or yours-- just because you won't change your name, or kneel down before a --
DANIEL
King's not the boss of me, Angel! I take my orders from the Governor and nobody else! Never forget that!