Scene from 3TOJP
(The Three Temptations of Jennifer Pierce)
a play by Lee Shackleford
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STEINKOPF
You seem to have difficulty overcoming your resistance to the love of Jesus Christ. So it is our sacred task to overcome that resistance for
you -- by physical force if necessary.
JENNY
Man, there's gotta be some way to rid of you. I wish I could spit poison like a camel.
CINDY
Camels do not spit poison.
Mary Katherine Cobb and Kelly Holden as the original Cindy and Jenny
JENNY
They do.
CINDY
Jennifer. I am a kindergarten teacher. I have to know everything about exotic animals. Camels do not spit poison.
JENNY
I know for a fact they do.
CINDY
Oh, so now you’re an expert on camels.
JENNY
No, just an expert on poison spit.
DIMMSDALE
This is irrelevant! Miss Pierce, this matter is no longer a simple wager between you and Cynthia.
It has escalated to a matter of importance to hundreds of believers and is spreading further even now!
You now have an obligation to your country!
JENNY
Woah -- I was almost with you there, and then you said “country” --
STEINKOPF
Surely you understand that, whether or not you are worthy of such an honor, you have been placed in the
position of becoming an example to patriotic Americans everywhere.
JENNY
Getting handcuffed by whackos is patriotic?
DIMMSDALE
Miss Pierce. You know perfectly well there has never been a time in history when it was more important to prove to the world that God has chosen America as His special favorite among all nations.
STEINKOPF
And if for some reason God truly has singled you out, it is your patriotic duty to exemplify the ideals set forward by our Pilgrim Forefathers.
JENNY
Well, that's the best news I've heard all day, because our Pilgrim Forefathers came to this continent to get away
from RELIGIOUS CONSERVATIVES LIKE YOU!
STEINKOPF
Rubbish!
DIMMSDALE
Someone here needs a refresher course in world history.
JENNY
Boy, you got that right.